Please Be Friday

I have more emotions than I know what to do with today. Cry, scream, and pitch a fit seem to be what Owen wants to do and heck I think I’m right there with him. His tooth has got him in a constant state of anxiousness. I do not know how to get him to stop. When I picked him up from school the car ride home couldn’t go fast enough. Everything I did brought screams from him. I was already having a rough day and lack of sleep does not help. The lights could not change fast enough as his screams got louder. He hadn’t screamed in a few moments and as we went through the “meltdown light” as I call it, the flailing and his earth-shaking screams started as we went through it. I immediately burst into tears. I wanted to scream too. I wanted to get home. I told him to stop screaming, I begged him, and I told him if he didn’t stop screaming at me I would take him tablet away from him when we got home. The screams stopped and I cried harder. At this point, his emotions caught up to my emotions and the switch happened. And my heart broke a little more. He started saying, “hi buddy”, “my sweet boy”, and “hi Owen” repeatedly, all things I say to him. He wanted me to talk to him. My mind, body, and soul were all more emotional than I want to think about. There’s a loneliness in these moments that feel like no one else in the world can even understand, yet I know there are others sitting, crying right now. He’s come such a long way, the progress is amazing, but the days are still jam-packed with emotions. He sat in my arms many times tonight, holding me with all his strength, and repeating “momME” over and over again. For the love of Owen, I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Our days can be hard to explain, but the love is the easy part. His smile lights up my world in the darkest of days. Find your inspiration and motivation and let the world see you shine. Smiles to all and donut daze!