I have to brace myself for our wake up. The mornings are filled with emotions, mixed with chaos and love. I’ve come to the conclusion that most likely Owen will scream when he wakes up. I now have nerves of spaghetti. The experts tell me to let him scream. Okay, so that doesn’t work for me. The other experts tell me to keep him from screaming. Okay, so that doesn’t work for me. I really don’t know how to convince him not to scream. Better yet, I really don’t know how to convince myself not to react to his screams. He can read me like a thousand page novel that changes languages every other word and has the words written in invisible ink. The key for Owen is redirection but even that lets him know the screams won the game. Some of his screams he can’t control. They are emotions for the situation at hand. The verge of meltdowns are comprised of screams that express more emotions that I don’t even understand. Things that used to not cause meltdowns now cause meltdowns. Just when I think I’m closer to figuring out how to keep the meltdowns at bay the rules change. I see the emotions churn through my little guy like tidal waves rushing on shore. One day at a time I tell myself. Last night he fell asleep talking about his teacher and going to school. I wanted to have my own personal pan pizza meltdown right there on the spot, my own emotions swirling heavy in my heart. School ends soon. Every single night for at least an hour he talks about seeing his teacher the next day, going to school, riding the bus. How, how on earth do we adapt for the summer. We push through. Know that you are stronger than you think and you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.