Owen woke in the middle of the night screaming. He actually made it to my bed before the screaming began. And then screaming quickly turned to him crying. I asked him if he was sick. He only somewhat understands the concept of being sick and can’t explain what he is feeling. I don’t know if he was scared or maybe he had a gas bubble that was causing him to be so upset. He laid there for a minute, but I told him that I needed to go potty, he should try too. Surprisingly he got up without hesitation and went. He was calmer at that point and showed no signs of sickness. I told him to go back to bed and I would be done in a minute. He follows me even if I tell him to stay in bed but usually he will go get back in my bed. Not today. I come out of the bathroom to all the lights on and his tablet going, it was one o’clock in the morning. I looked and he already got his milk and put it on his table, ready to start his day. I keep a cup of his milk in the refrigerator to work on his independence, letting him get it when he wants it. I put it in different locations so that he doesn’t have a certain expectation of where it will be. His expectations can cause as many problems for us as something not being there at all. I’m hoping that by showing him the cup is still in the refrigerator, but not necessarily where he expects it to be that it will help with other situations as well. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I get overwhelmed thinking about the overthinking I need to do before the anxiousness sets in for both of us. The other day, and most days, Owen went through at least ten different requests for songs, wanted help with his tablet, and then ran off to the toilet in less than a minute’s time. He wanted answers to all of his questions. I have to breathe and answer what I can. The key is learning what helps us both move forward. Some days I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and other days I can see the huge accomplishments we both have made. Learning to be kind to myself can be one of the hardest steps I go through. I have to remember in life’s challenges we can let them weigh us down or we can grow from them. Find your strength and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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