Today is the first morning Owen hasn’t woken up with me in as long as I can remember. I was trying to be as quiet as I could, reflecting on the days gone by and the day ahead. I heard him get out of bed and his feet hit the floor. But he only made it to the hall. I get up from my seat and he is laying on the floor in a ball. This is a common occurrence. Many times he’s not quite ready to wake up and he will lay down wherever he is. He has no boundaries set for where he should lay or what he should touch. His hands go in his mouth constantly and if not his hands his shirt. He is finally starting to use a chewy sensory ring after years of trying. After a few moments, he got up and went to the bathroom. I asked him what he wanted for breakfast always saying at least two things, and before I could tell him the choices he said, “choices you have choices”. He had waffles for breakfast and then he had a waffle for his snack. Because he has choices and when I asked him if he was ready for a snack he said, “I want a waffle pwease”. Another waffle it was. He has watched the Winnie the Pooh opening so many times he says what’s going to be on the screen before it comes on. This doesn’t surprise me because his memory is long and he can tell me many scenarios from shows he has watched. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, I moved my hair from one side to the other, not even thinking about it. Owen came from the living room reaching up to my hair to pull it off my shoulder. At first, I thought he was coming to hug me, but then his hands immediately went to outstretch my hair. I have to be the picture of me at all times. I can’t change my hair by pulling it up without complete approval from Owen or otherwise it can cause hours of meltdowns. I was getting dinner prepared and I told Owen “I’m cranky”. He said, “no cranky today”. Nothing like being schooled on your emotions by your child. I tried to smile today, but sometimes I want calm and quiet and that generally is not the case. I was singing Old MacDonald in an operatic tone and I was getting to the animal. Owen basically stopped my singing, for good reason mind you, and talks me through the animals. He normally wants me to sing the animals, but I had to laugh because he doesn’t necessarily know how to get me to stop doing something he doesn’t like so he talked me down from the animal choices. He did not like nor does he ever like it when I sing off tune. I don’t have a great voice, but he certainly can tell when I need to stop singing. I laughed more than I cried today, but I was cranky more than I should have been as well. I’m always learning from my sweet baby O and today I learned to be more patient with my own emotions and remind myself to smile. Find your joy, dream of a beautiful tomorrow, and know that miracles can happen if you believe. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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