It’s all the little things put together that lead to great victories. I have to remind myself of this even when they feel like moments that are full of struggles Owen is learning and moving forward. His behaviors aren’t always because he wants to do something wrong or to be mean but rather because it’s either a learned response or something that he does because it is sensory-related or emotional. Or so I tell myself. He can’t seem to sleep all through the night right now so each night he comes and gets in bed with me. And each night I wish I had a double king-size bed but it wouldn’t matter because I would somehow still get a toe up my nose. I got up to go to the bathroom and he starts screaming at me. He does this guttural sound when he wants me to not do something. I got about five feet from the bed and he was not happy. I knew where this would lead if I didn’t stop and get him fully awake. I told him it was time to get up for school and he could either yell at me or go to school. He changed his tune to “school school” and I went to the bathroom. I got a cup of coffee and I turned the light on. That’s when the next set of screaming started. He wanted the lights off. I told him that I was getting coffee and he would have to get ready for school soon. When I came back to my room he was still in bed. I started “roaring like a lion” and he laughs and laughs and laughs. I gave him a big kiss on the top of his head and told him he needed to go to the bathroom so we could start getting ready. We still had about thirty minutes but I have to get him going or it doesn’t go very smoothly. I helped him get dressed and I told him he had five minutes and then we would go to the bus stop. He sat on his balance ball and then proceeded to bite his pants. He put his knee up to his mouth and kept doing it. He then told me his pants were wet and he was upset. I told him to stop biting his pants and that we needed to get his safety belt on so we could go to the bus stop. Instead, he ran to the bathroom to get his towel to dry his pants. He is constantly trying to figure this out now. I am glad that he is making a connection to how his pants are getting wet but it’s still hard and I don’t want him to have a meltdown because of it. When he came home from school I asked him if he wanted to go to the park or for a walk. He wanted to go “see firefighter man.” I told him after he ate his snack we could go see if they were there. When we got there the bays were open but they weren’t around. They were probably eating or something and not in the main area. I told him we would go for our walk and then come back to see if they were around. When we walked back by they still weren’t in the main area so I told him we would have to come back another day. I want him to understand we can’t always see them so I was kind of glad that they weren’t there so we would be able to talk about it. He handled it well. He even wore his firefighter hat on the walk to show them which I thought was cool and I told him he could show them next time. He was watching a video of Mickey Mouse on the farm in another language I didn’t recognize and I asked him if he could say cow in French. He changed the language to French when I asked him the question and he laughed. He came to me later and brought me his tablet. I could tell he wanted me to see something because he handed it to me which he only does when he wants something. He started singing a shape song and he wanted me to hear him. His eyes got so bright and his smile was brilliant. He grabbed my hand so he could swing it with the beat and he started singing. When he was done he said, “square has eyeballs” and ran off laughing. The shapes on the video all have faces and dance. These are the moments that make me happy. His voice is getting stronger every day in every way. I love when he shares these moments directly with me. He fell asleep quickly and I’m hoping tonight we get back on the sleep trail. Your smile is meant to be shared. Find your strength and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.