Owen ran with his tablet in hand. He gave it to me saying, “plug it”. He started to run away, but turned around as I was not getting up fast enough to plug it in. There can be no delay from the moment he wants something and the moment I actually do it. I’m not always that fast and I maybe in the middle of something. He came back to me, repeating the request, almost like a demand this time, but he added, “pwease” to the request. I explained to him again that mommy can’t always do things immediately, even if he wants it done quickly. I know that concept will come one day, but it’s certainly not one he gets now. I sat down at the kitchen table and before I could even think about what I was doing Owen ran back into the kitchen. I was playing with my hair, twisting it into a knot on the back of my head. Instant meltdown. I wouldn’t let him pull it so he got even more upset, this time running away from me. I told him to come here and he started saying, “comb hair”. I’m always amazed at his wording and how he makes connections. I repeated for him to come to me. I wanted to try to work through my hair being up with him, but today was not the day. I’ve been trying to get him to understand that my hair can look different, but it’s still of great concern for him. One day at a time I remind myself. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. As long as the boat was not rocked Owen was having an excellent day, so I kept moving forward. Some days feel harder than others, but easier when I remain calm and that gets me through our days. He can read me like a book and he knows how I feel sometimes before I even realize I’m being emotional. He played his guitar for me and sang many songs with me. The laughter outweighs the tears and the joy from seeing my son shine makes my heart sing. Follow your dreams, be inspired, and know that you can do great things if you set your mind to it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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