Here we are at the point where school becomes the topic for discussion. It’s Sunday morning, we will be getting ready for church soon, but the questions are already rolling in for tomorrow. The week ahead for Owen is spring break, any and every break is hard on him. He thrives in the routine of his world and these days ahead will set a tone for the next days, weeks, and months ahead. He remembers everything and then when his words have formed or he can figure out how to express his thoughts he then tells me about it. We have this tiny hippo statue out by our front steps. When he was much younger I would say to him “tell the hippo hi” when we would come home. I said this for months and then stop saying it. Close to a year went by and one day as we were walking up to our steps Owen said, “hi hippo”. I couldn’t believe it. He remembered all that time and was finally able to say something about it. These occurrences still happen to this day. Words that I say will come tumbling out of his mouth and it truly makes me more aware of how much our words really mean. I have told him before that I was cranky and tired, that he would have to have patience with mommy and now he asks me “are you cranky”. One of the hardest emotions I have to push through is when I think about all the things he can’t tell me. I want to know whst he loves and not the things I think he loves. I want him to be able to tell me if something is bothering him and for him to not have to think screaming is the only answer because I don’t understand. We’ve come so far and I concentrate on the smiles I do get from him and the affirmation that he is happy. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. He keeps asking me about school and I keep distracting him. I wonder how long I can put off telling him about the week ahead, one day at a time I tell myself. Today I hear joy and peace in his voice and for that I’m thankful. It’s been a very calm day for us. Share your smile because there is someone that needs to see it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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