I’ve prayed to God more times than I can even count today. Words float through my mind as I try to navigate all of the things that life is throwing at me right now. One thing rolls into another and my emotions are overflowing. I was thankful Owen slept all night.
He was full of energy and had a focus but it was full of questions about what he was going to do tomorrow even though he knew exactly what was happening tomorrow. He can’t find peace in any of this because as soon as routine happens life comes right behind it and changes what we know. I prayed harder.
No matter how hard I tried this morning was filled with those emotional moments. One of Owen’s tablets is no longer working properly. It does what it wants when it wants and that’s about it. It was fully charged but wouldn’t stay on. This sent him spiraling even more than we already were. It’s one more thing to try to explain to him even though he was saying the right words.
He wanted to go to church but he was very concerned with who was going to be there and he was concerned about who was going to be at school tomorrow. We got ready but my blue pants were upsetting him. I’m not sure why. He told me he wanted me to wear tan shorts or grey pants. I told him that we could stay home from church if it was all too much. He said, “church church church.” I told him to go put his shoes on but he bent over one more time to look at my pants. It took all my will to walk out the door to go to church.
Change stresses us out. I try to remind myself the calmer I am the calmer he will be. But some days the buttons he pushes are ones he wants to see my reaction from. On our way to church, he spit numerous times, I kept driving. He tried to move in his seat, I kept driving. He talked about unlocking the door, I kept driving. He talked about our clothes, I kept driving. We made it to church. We both needed to be there.
The ride home wasn’t much different but he told me he was sorry. I want him to understand that we can talk about anything and we don’t have to use behavior as the bridge. He was calm the rest of the day except for continuing to ask about his teacher it’s hard for him to process it all but I want him to always know I’m there for him.
He is growing again because the boy is packing away the food. I’m glad he is a good eater. It has always been important to me to work with him on this because I know how difficult food can be for him. He is very excited about his day ahead and all the activities associated with it. Through challenges, I see our victories. Today I felt them even though it was an emotional journey to get there. Celebrate your victories no matter how big or small celebrate them all. Smiles to all and donut daze!
He was full of energy and had a focus but it was full of questions about what he was going to do tomorrow even though he knew exactly what was happening tomorrow. He can’t find peace in any of this because as soon as routine happens life comes right behind it and changes what we know. I prayed harder.
No matter how hard I tried this morning was filled with those emotional moments. One of Owen’s tablets is no longer working properly. It does what it wants when it wants and that’s about it. It was fully charged but wouldn’t stay on. This sent him spiraling even more than we already were. It’s one more thing to try to explain to him even though he was saying the right words.
He wanted to go to church but he was very concerned with who was going to be there and he was concerned about who was going to be at school tomorrow. We got ready but my blue pants were upsetting him. I’m not sure why. He told me he wanted me to wear tan shorts or grey pants. I told him that we could stay home from church if it was all too much. He said, “church church church.” I told him to go put his shoes on but he bent over one more time to look at my pants. It took all my will to walk out the door to go to church.
Change stresses us out. I try to remind myself the calmer I am the calmer he will be. But some days the buttons he pushes are ones he wants to see my reaction from. On our way to church, he spit numerous times, I kept driving. He tried to move in his seat, I kept driving. He talked about unlocking the door, I kept driving. He talked about our clothes, I kept driving. We made it to church. We both needed to be there.
The ride home wasn’t much different but he told me he was sorry. I want him to understand that we can talk about anything and we don’t have to use behavior as the bridge. He was calm the rest of the day except for continuing to ask about his teacher it’s hard for him to process it all but I want him to always know I’m there for him.
He is growing again because the boy is packing away the food. I’m glad he is a good eater. It has always been important to me to work with him on this because I know how difficult food can be for him. He is very excited about his day ahead and all the activities associated with it. Through challenges, I see our victories. Today I felt them even though it was an emotional journey to get there. Celebrate your victories no matter how big or small celebrate them all. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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