I keep telling myself to hold onto the good stuff and let the crankiness and worry wash away. Today was beyond emotional, beyond beyond. But it was a good day. Owen woke early. There really was no surprise there. How do I ever decide on rules or when to associate time with him if time never is something he truly learns? I know he probably understands time better than I can even imagine but a clock and when we do things are not always the same. He was excited to be going to the farm. He had been to this farm before with school many years ago but it has changed some since then. They have lots of kid friendly activities but Owen doesn’t always understand when others get to have turns. We always talk about this but when you are a kid or an adult you want all the turns. Before we left he had a few behavior issues and I told him that he needed to listen to mommy if we were going to go. He stood screaming at me and I put all of the stuff down that I was putting in our bags. I see the connections he is making. He said, “don’t yell at mommy sorry mommy do you understand me.” My heart swelled with emotions. He is making those connections, finding words that fit together, and trying to express his emotions for the situation. It’s a lot for him to process. As the day wore on he apologized a couple more times to me for yelling and other behaviors. Some of his words and actions I can tell were from school interactions and some from his therapy but all mixed with his words. He keeps talking about the pumpkins and it being Halloween. I asked him what he wanted to be and he said Spider-Man. I said you can be something else like Mickey or Goofy he said, “nah Spider-Man.” So I’m not sure if Spider-Man is the way to go because then can he only be Spider-Man since that’s what he was last year or let him be who he wants to be. Time will tell if he changes his mind. There were so many activities at the farm. He did really well but it was overstimulating for him and he was ready to go within a couple hours. We stayed a little bit longer and he got to ride on a couple wagons. I think the most fun he had was riding the tricycles they had out for the kids of all ages. He also loved the huge dried corn bin. They had a slide on it and he loved that. He told me when we left that he wasn’t going to grandma’s house but the whole way home he kept talking about it. He said that she was busy so he couldn’t go. Technically he could have gone for a little while but he said that he wanted to go home and take a bath. And that’s exactly what he did. I also made him help clean up all the water he splashed from the bath because he has to learn why I tell him he can’t soak the whole bathroom. Next bathroom will have an enclosed tub so he can splash away. I’m thankful he enjoyed himself and seeing him light up when he accomplishes anything makes me happy. There were so many little rocky moments but I’m trying to remember the good stuff. That is what I keep telling myself. Even though I’ve seen him ride his bike so many times it was a thrill to see him ride the big tricycle with such confidence. Every step towards independence, confidence, and decision making is a good day in my book. I told him I was proud of him and I thanked him for apologizing to me and giving me kindness and grace. Respect is the goal for all. Be kind to the person that isn’t smiling because you never know the mile they walked to find their shoes. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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