Owen got into bed with me again last night. All I keep thinking is I hope it switches back to a sleep cycle for him soon. Luckily, he went right back to sleep; me, not so much. Although, I really hadn’t slept that great prior to him getting into bed with me either. Some days are like that. He wanted a lot of input this morning, coming to me, sitting on my lap, and getting into a ball. He wants me to hold him, almost folded in half, and then he works himself out of my arms. He’s body is extremely flexible; it’s like he has no bones. He ran back to me several times, going through the same motions. The last few days he hasn’t been able to settle easily; his body is constantly in motion. He is getting taller too, so I know that he has had a growth spurt; this may be affecting his sleep, as well. He gets very emotional about his words. He is trying very hard to ask for things, carrying on conversations with me, but sometimes the words aren’t completely formed, and this leads to his frustration. He wants me to respond in certain ways, or confirm something he is talking about, but I don’t always know how to answer him. I try to have him repeat the word, or I repeat the word I think it is back to him. This doesn’t always help the situation. He has come so far. I look back on our journey, and see his great accomplishments. He went through a stage were he wouldn’t even look at me. He would turn to me, only looking out the corner of his eyes. The tears I shed for those moments. You don’t know what to do, or who to ask. It’s like you are floating from day to day without a safety net. I wanted answers. I wanted someone to tell me what to do. I wanted a hug. There are still days that he will sit next to me, not wanting to respond to me, or can’t respond to me; those days are hard. It’s like he can’t find his words, thoughts, or voice. It puts a lump in my throat. This is my baby. Today he’s smiling, saying “I wuv ewe”, and ready to go to his church program. I’m thankful for today, and I know great things are yet to come. Keep looking forward. The past is written in stone, but your future can be anything you set your mind to. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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