One of us certainly has a lot more energy this morning than the other one of us. Owen fell asleep easily last night, woke around one, and as they say the rest is history. My hair has become his focus again. I have yet to figure out how, in the middle of his sleep, he can grab the hair on my neck, hold onto it, and stay asleep. Owen is extremely happy, ready for bowling day, and screaming at the top of his lungs with delight about everything. Except, then I had to go to the bathroom. I sat up on the couch. Before I could get to my feet Owen started saying, “sit down”. He did not want me out of his view and he certainly did not want me to make a trip to the bathroom. I braced for the happy screams to turn into squeaks of anxiety. I had to go. I stood and his foot started tapping the floor. I explained to him that I’m getting more coffee and going to the bathroom. He yells, “no coffee”. I kept walking. Some days this isn’t a problem and he won’t follow me into the other rooms. But today isn’t one of those days. I got to the bathroom and before I could even close the door he slams it shut, sits on the floor outside the bathroom, and starts kicking the door. Before he started using the toilet these episodes were almost daily. Now that he is more involved in the bathroom process he doesn’t kick the door as frequently, but it still can cause him a lot of anxiety. When I walked out of the bathroom I switched the light off, not even thinking about it. This brought the next wave of screams. The bathroom is one of the lights that is now supposed to be on until it’s not. The rules and routines that govern our world change, but stay the same. He’s happy again now that I’m sitting. There’s a line of how to survive, thrive, and keep the meltdowns away that I’m still learning. Some days I’m walking the line, other days I’m crossing the line, and many days I can’t even find the line that I so desperately need. But then he says, “I wuv ewe” and comes running for a kiss on his forehead. His words are flowing today and have been since he leaned over sometime in the middle of the night and said, “let’s go bowling”. Thankful doesn’t even cover it. He’s come so far. There is no mountain we can’t climb together. I tell Owen all the time that he can do anything he wants if he sets his mind to it. Through sleepy eyes, I still see the victories of our morning. Never give up, believe in yourself, and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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