The screaming. Short burst of attention getters. Oh my. He knows they get to me. He knew they got to me long before I knew they got to me. Years of the attention getters, and my reactions, says it is so. If I correct him, they start back up in a few minutes. If I ignore them, they get louder, closer together, and more frequent. If I ignore them for too long he will scream, and then correct himself. “Stop screaming”, he says, followed by, “one more time and it’s goooNa”, referring to me taking away his tablet. I can’t count how many times I’ve said that, and how many times I’ve actually done it. I will make him take a timeout, which is about as effective as telling him not to do something, but repeating the same actions does help reinforce the outcome. Owen apologized, “sorry mommy need a hug mommy I wuv ewe mommy”. Yes, little one, I love you. I tried to take him to Bob Evans, two days in a row. Both days he cried, screamed, kicked his way out of going. Both days I have been very emotional. We went from him asking to go, “let’s go to Bob Evans restauRONt”, to him crying at the mention of going. We left. These are the ups, and downs of this journey. What am I encouraging, what am I discouraging, by us leaving. Like the balloon, sometimes you feel deflated, and then air beings you to life again. One day at a time. We will try again. And again. There are so many emotions I face walking out our door, but just as many sitting at home. Owen has his mischievous smile plastered on his face. I can tell we have a few adventures left for us today. Know that you are a lot stronger than you think you are. Follow your heart, open your mind to new possibilities, and watch your world bloom. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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