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Some Want Saturday

4/6/2019

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We had a great morning. Owen slept all night in his bed, only coming to my bed right before six. We laid there for awhile; talking, and laughing. He got up with his milk request; off he ran to get his tablet, turn on the lights, and then get his milk out of the refrigerator. I still laid in bed for a few more minutes; Owen running back, and forth between the rooms. I got up, and fixed us breakfast. He laughed so much this morning; big, cheesy smiles, and his whole belly, shaking laughter. I love hearing him say new words. One of the apps he has, says, “stupendous”. I told him we were going to go bowling soon, and Owen yells out “it’s sue pandas”. He had an excellent time bowling, doing his new signature move, the spin. I love how excited he gets about bowling. We left, and I asked him if he wanted to go someplace else. I told him he could “take a ride”; that means being pushed in his stroller. He wanted to go, but as we were heading to the mall, the meltdown, crushing stoplight got us. It wouldn’t change to green. It felt like a million years sitting there. I could hear the meltdown coming, and there was nothing I could do. I asked him to count, I rapid fired questions at him, and I told him I loved him; that’s all I could do. The screams were earth shaking, but the tears are heartbreaking. He screamed the entire way home, through his tears, at the top of his lungs; I cried with him. Instead of walking at the mall, I took him for a walk around the neighborhood. He was calmer, but as soon as we got home his emotions were there again. It’s a helpless feeling knowing there is nothing I can do to calm my baby when something like a stoplight causes him to have so many emotions. Is it the vibrations from my car, is it the way he sits at the light, is it something he once saw; all I can do is tell him I love him, until I can get him out of his seat to give him a big hug. He’s calmer now, hours later; I still have tears swimming in my eyes. His screams are still echoing in my mind, as I try to erase that moment. His words are so important to me, for moments like this, and all I can do is pray that more words will come, so he can let me know how to help him. Use your voice for good, spread joy, and know that together we can make a difference in this world. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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