Yesterday was Easter. It takes me a bit to process holidays anymore, much like Owen. I can see the progress, I feel like we are one step closer. Letting go of the expectations and embracing who we are is what I had to do. This year feels like we are moving mountains and the progress train is going right up the hill. Yesterday felt like Owen was actually taking it all in and beginning to understand it was a special day. I had to kinda let it all soak in. He asked how to spell “Easter bunny hop hop hop” so that he could look it up on YouTube. It tells me he is thinking about what people have said to him. The connections are flowing. I see it as the ebb and flow of the tide. We had a doctor’s appointment today. We got to the office and I turned the car off. I took the keys out of the ignition and made the phone call to let them know we were there. Owen yells from his seat, “mommy make the phone call”. It was a yell, not a scream so there’s progress. When I realized how hot it was, since it’s no longer those winter days, I turned the car back on. I instantly knew my mistake. He started crying and was upset, thinking we weren’t going to the appointment. I sat trying to reassure him we were going but I knew if I didn’t get him out of the car he would be in a meltdown before I could convince him we were going. It’s in those moments I realize how much he focuses on every single clue I give him about what we are doing. The rules and routine govern our days but my actions are truly part of what influences his reactions. The moment that capture my heart was when he looked up in the sky and started talking about the clouds, he pointed to the clouds. His teacher is working with him to understand what he is wearing and the colors of each item and for years I’ve talked to him about having pictures on his clothing but he has never focused on what he is wearing, only what I was wearing, until today. He looked down at his shirt, pulling it out a little, and realized what was on his shirt. “Eieio that’s old MacDonald”, he said. His shirt had little barns and animals with the letters separated on it. That is beyond amazing. My wildest dreams are coming true for my sweet baby O. At dinner we sat together, eating fried bologna, adding another new food to ones he likes. He was very focused and confidently spelled numerous words. “Key k e y”, he said and continuing with, “kick kick a ball k i c k”. He moved on to spell newt and nose, “newt neee” but he said it with authority like it was correct and quickly spelled nose the same way. I’ll take it. The rollercoaster ride of life is full of twists and turns but the joy from those ups sure makes the downs a distance memory. Grow from yesterday and lean into tomorrow with a new hope. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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