I felt calm when I woke but the tears were there. I thought I heard Owen. Scratch that. I thought I heard Owen’s game but the volume was so low. I did. He must have just gotten up though because he still had a full battery. He didn’t go to the bathroom so I sent him on his way. Volume is one of the things that no matter what it is set at he wants it louder. At night after he goes to bed I turn his tablet way down so at least it isn’t blaring when he first turns it on. It only lasts a couple of minutes but first thing in the morning he doesn’t generally turn it as loud. Today did not go according to plan so we stayed home. Once Owen realized he wasn’t going to see his grandma today he did not want to go anywhere. I told him that sometimes grandma has to do other things and he can’t always go to her house on Saturdays. He loves going but he handled it well after asking a few times throughout the day. It doesn’t get any easier when his routine changes but he needs to learn that routines get changed. This required me to sit a lot to keep him happy. I sit a lot anyways but today we spent a lot of time sitting together. I haven’t figured out how to tell him there will be several times over the next few months that his routine will change. When I scheduled his appointment to see the specialist in September I didn’t even think about it being a Thursday. The original date they gave me was a Wednesday but the appointment time was very late in the day and we would have gotten home way past his bedtime. This would have made the trip and the nights forward harder for him. They rescheduled it to a Thursday at an earlier time. The time is better but now he will miss his therapy sessions. I will just need to explain it to him and hopefully, when I explain he is going to see a doctor he will be happy. I have always made appointments feel exciting for him. I want him to know doctors are there to help us so I tell him that it is a big deal when we get to go to see some of our favorite people. I never wanted him to be afraid of going. Thankfully he likes going to all of them. Plus I have a few weeks to overthink it all and try to figure out when to tell him his days are changing. He watches a video that shows an alarm clock and he likes me to sit and watch him move through the video one second at a time with him going over the different frames with me and then starting over. He talks about all the parts of the alarm clock and the time. He keeps telling me it is thirteen o’clock. He says it in another language and then says, “thirteen o’clock.” I haven’t figured out which language it is though. I got him an alarm clock and I had shown it to him before but he had no interest in it. I try to give him real-world examples when he likes something in an app or video. I showed it to him again today and how the bells rang like they did on the one he was watching. I handed it to him and he watched the little hammer hitting the bells. He turned it off, walked to the couch, and he covered part of it with his favorite blanket. The night went quickly by and he stood in the kitchen talking with me. He told me, “ketchup honey is yummy” and he went on “it’s a fridge refrigerator and stove is oven.” I think he was repeating words used on a review he had been watching because he said, “welcome to my channel.” I asked him if he wanted to make a YouTube channel and he said, “no” but I don’t think he understands what that means. So one day maybe he’ll have his own YouTube channel. The new scream he has learned is his favorite thing to do. He has started mimicking this scream and he continues to perfect it during all hours of the day. This is going to get interesting. He fell asleep requesting a Spider-Man bed and blanket. That’s going to get more interesting. Tomorrow is a brand new day. I’m thankful for the songs he sang me today and the smiles he gave me. Some days it may feel impossible but believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Make it a great day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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