Today though, Owen slept again. I mostly did. I’m thankful for this. It truly helps with our attitudes. The more he sleeps the calmer he is and the more I can talk to him about how we handle our everyday every day.
He will say one word about his days ahead or what he wants. “Church,” he said for the tenth, twenty, or hundredth time this morning. School, tablet, and pool were a few more of the one-word chants he would throw out. I asked him to tell me more about church. I talked to him about sentences and what he likes about going to church. I gave him a sentence he could use so that he understands dialogue and how to come about it.
I am working with him on behaviors. I want to get ahead of the teenage years as much as I can. I need to connect behaviors with expectations and rewards or consequences. Owen is mostly driven by his tablet. He doesn’t have a toy or food that I can reward him with. However, taking his tablet away is a huge deal. This strategy would not have worked a few years ago but now is working. He is making the connection and I am emphasizing how it works.
I am also trying to get him to understand that we have daily tasks and chores we have to do. This one is even hard for me because I don’t want to do any of those. Laundry has always been one of the hardest things for him. Seeing anything on my bed is hard for him so laundry can’t go anywhere when I am folding it. It can go on a chair but there are more steps for him with that as well. If I am not careful he throws clothes in the trash. I am putting random clothes on my bed so that he has to help me with it. One shirt or pair of pants is a big deal so we work through that. And it is exhausting. But we are working through it.
I am raising my tiny human to be an adult. He gets to do all the kid activities but I am trying to get him to understand life skills. And it is emotional. But it has to be done and I see incredible progress.
On the way to church, there were many behaviors that he was doing to see how the fallout would happen. This leads me to talk to him about not doing the behavior so he would get the reward instead of doing the behavior and not getting the reward. This isn’t a one-time talk. This is a talk we will have a lot, a lot - a lot.
What I love though is those moments of connections and growth. I see so many of them daily. Those moments that instantly brought tears to my eyes are the ones that didn’t happen overnight but happened because of all these talks and all the support we have from our team.
Life happens every day. The challenges we face today will be the moments of victory tomorrow. Keep hope for those moments and watch where they take us. Today I am thankful for the patience Owen showed when before that would have been one of our biggest challenges. Find your victory in what was yesterday’s challenge. Smiles to all and donut daze!