Some days I trip over my words when I’m talking to Owen, knowing that one wrong word can lead to a meltdown or anxiousness that could last for hours, days, or brought up months later. Last night the rookie mistake, as I like to call them, happened. I said, “let’s go take your shower”. I meant bath, meant it, but said shower. This took thirty minutes of him pacing and throwing himself on the couch for him to calm down enough to go take his bath. Pins and needles don’t quite cover my emotions. It’s more like walking on eggshells, mixed with Legos, that have a time bomb attitude. You don’t say the wrong words. The older he gets he is paying more attention to how the world looks. The front door lock has to be straight up now. Luckily it is still locked when it is that direction, but he will race back to the door when he hears me lock it when we come home. He also checks it regularly to make sure that it is still exactly as he left it. He is more concerned with his clothes and the clothes of others; he is no longer just concerned about my clothes. When we were at the coffee shop today I had to stop him from trying to fix a man’s socks. The man was very kind. After I explained Owen wanted to fix his socks to make them even, he said that it was fine with him if he did it. The kindness of others is as overwhelming as the attitudes of some. There are emotions that seep out from me even though I want them to stay deep buried inside. Owen doesn’t understand that he can’t go around fixing other people’s clothes, but how do I even explain that to him and why should I have to. Owen’s had a really good day and I’ve had an over the top emotional one, trying to stay one step ahead of the crying. I’m focusing on his smile and not the screams that echo in the air. I’m reminded daily of how far we’ve come. Let today be your guide for tomorrow and know that you can accomplish amazing things when you put your mind to it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.