Sweet Baby O - Our Autism Journey
Contact Me
  • Home
  • The Daily
  • Paintings
  • Products
  • Church
  • Down This Road
  • Book
  • Podcast

The Struggle

7/4/2015

0 Comments

 

The struggles of a sensory baby are hard and confusing. Why at night or during happy times or even sad times does my baby have to struggle so?
Owen lays down to go to sleep and he can't stop moving. He can't stop fidgeting. He can't stop... 
I think one more sippy cup will calm him. I think one more firm squeeze will calm him. I think if he would just let me do the leg compressions that would calm him but yet I still see the struggle. 
I often wonder what it is that makes this so hard on him. Why does he move around so much? Why can't his legs just stop? What makes this so hard for him to deal with? I look at my little baby and I wonder if it hurts him or he is confused. I wonder if he even knows that he struggles. I wonder what am I missing that I can't help him stop moving. I wonder what is really going on with him that his body just won't stop. 
Finally as a peace washes over him and the fight in his body leaves I see the calm wash over his face. This journey was often not quick or in my eyes not quick enough to give him peace. 
He fights all the way into sleep. After several minutes of flailing around, often kicking, screaming, hitting he will find a calm and just when I think calm has won he will open his eyes and his little hand comes after my face. He will grab at my hair and eyes and then back off and be calm again. I have heard this from so many parents. And the wonder starts all over again. Why does he do this why does he feel the need to scratch and claw at me? The thought is they are trying to process everything but my thought is I just want to fix everything. I don't want him to suffer. I don't want him to hurt and I don't want him to feel any pain. I just pray he doesn't know this pain. I pray he feels my love and knows that mommy may not understand but will always be by his side. 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    May 2017
    January 2016
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed