Owen woke in a great mood, me not so much. I’m trying to turn that frown at least straight. Owen is extremely happy and animated today. He is squealing about everything and add that to the intermittent screaming and we gots ourselves a party. I’m trying to stay calm and in the now. The stress of the past week, heck months is catching up to me. There’s never a calm moment in our world. Breathing through my day, telling myself to keep marching to the beat of my own drum, and staying ahead of every curveball that is thrown at me is keeping me on my toes. To create a calm world one has to be calm. You can’t order a side of calm through any drive-thru I know of, so I’m trying to let go of what’s keeping me from letting go. Owen was ready to go to church before we were even asleep last night. And then he was ready to be home and “momma change” before we even left the parking lot to come home. That’s how it goes. When we got home from church, within seconds of walking through the door, he wanted me to fix his tablet, change, get him a hot dog, and fill his cup with milk. He screamed each command before I could even take my shoes off, that he desperately wanted off of my feet. I breathed. I haven’t figured out how to explain to myself that he isn’t in control of the universe, but yet that’s how it feels. I rejoice in the little things. My umbrella was near the front door before we left, it was drying from the rain we had. I asked Owen to pick up my umbrella for me. I really didn’t know how that would go. He looked around, he bent down, and he picked it up by one of the sides. I was ecstatic that he picked it up for me, but it made me realize how much he truly doesn’t understand. He didn’t pick it up by the handle. Maybe that’s a kid thing, maybe that’s something to ponder for another day. I’m going to focus on his smile, breathe through the cloudy days, and celebrate the accomplishments we make. Celebrate your accomplishments no matter how small you think they are. You matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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