Owen knew what today was and he was happy. He couldn’t wait to get up and get to that bus this morning. He woke around four, told me a whole bunch of facts about the whales again, and proceeded to fall back asleep in my arms. I did not want to get out of bed this morning but we had to get going. I’m trying to have him put on his clothes and work with him to get his shoes and socks on. I have to remind him what direction his clothes face and that seams go on the inside. He doesn’t understand the concept. All I keep thinking is to make sure I never buy him clothing that has any of the seams on the outside. It would be too confusing for him. I got socks for him that have pulls on the sides where he can stick his fingers in them and pull them up over his foot. This helps and frustrates him all at the same time. It’s all so much. It’s easier for me to put them on him but that does not help him grow. I want to cry and scream right along with him. It’s all so much. He struggles with these steps. He still can only pull his socks up part of the way and unless his shoes are already unvelcroed he can’t figure out how to push his foot in there. But he is learning and he is growing. When he came home from school we were supposed to go to the park but it was raining. He asked for his friend a couple of times but he then told me “momma change” which means he knows we are staying home. I got him a snack and put it on the table. He said, “no baby scissors today mommy here”. And with that, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. He has struggled with the routine for years with summers always being different for him and going to daycare or with babysitters so I’m glad I was right there in that moment with him. We had a great night. He really didn’t want to eat much but it might also be that he ate a huge snack when he came home. He looked like he had grown again. He sang a lot for me tonight and even let me sing for him. I like to make up songs and sometimes that’s easier because he isn’t expecting me to get the words right or be on key. He fell asleep in my arms, asking me to go to my bed. It’s always the struggle of what to do but I would get no sleep if I let him sleep with me all night long. Currently, I’m staring at the pillows that are supposed to be at the head of my bed under the covers and at the footboard. Tonight’s noises were walrus, “not the moose”, and elephants that he said in Spanish. He is back in full force with all the languages and now learning to make all the animal noises too. He puts the song in my heart. Find what makes your heart sing and rejoice in those moments. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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