There are moments in time all I can do is pray. Owen yelled at me because I wouldn’t say, “you have to go to YouTube” for at least the twentieth time in only a few minutes. I’m was trying to prevent a meltdown but sometimes you can create them instead. The cycle goes round and round. He wanted me to tell him he had to go to YouTube to see the ABC video that’s no longer on the app but he wouldn’t let me help him find it on YouTube. Sometimes it’s about the quest and not necessarily about the goal. He was having an extremely rough night. Everything seemed to upset him tonight. I wanted to cry right there with him. He needed to process what he wanted and what could happen. Change is incredibly hard for him, unless it’s not. Somethings, like all of us, don’t phase him at all. And then other changes set him into tailspins that take days, weeks, months, years to move through. He still asks about our electricity being off years ago when someone hit a pole and the dog that was on the corner with a lady for several days and then we’ve never seen her again. His memory is long and incredible and my memory is always trying to play catch-up to figure out what he is making a connection to. When I could only think to distract him we painted. We do a hand over hand method working on his fine motor skills. He at first only wanted to paint one triangle and the more we talked and the more I distracted the more he did. But then once we stopped it was right back to YouTube lalaland. I could think through anything else. It’s like breathe breath breathe and then he says the same words repeatedly until I answer. It took over an hour to fall asleep and it is taken me several to calm down. I want my baby happy. And today’s happiness came from Owen asking Siri how to say everything in Korean his new go-to choice. Through tired eyes, I cried out to God many times to give me strength and then Owen laughed one more time and it made me smile. Celebrate the little things because they can provide the biggest impact on your life. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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