“See the puppy say hi”, he squeals. Owen started jumping up and down and wanting to go down the street towards the corner. I knew where this was going and I had to hurry to get him in the car. This has happened before and the meltdown was escalating quickly. There was no one on the corner, but it’s the corner we’ve seen our neighbor at several times with her dog. Since he can’t tell me everything that he is going through I’m assuming it’s because they aren’t standing there and it’s on his mind. It could be for other reasons, but he can’t put it into words. I was able to convince him to get in the car, but he would not sit in his seat. He kept yelling towards the corner. I knew we had to drive away. I knew we had to get out of there before he went into a complete meltdown. I had to get him to sit down. I had to convince him that we needed to get to church for his program. And I had to not cry. The more upset I get the more upset he will get. He did not want to sit down. I kept asking him questions. I kept trying to stay cool. I finally got him to turn around and sit down. It seemed like an eternity, but I know it was only a few moments. He is growing and getting to the point that I can no longer carry him. I have to find ways to calm him and do everything I can to avoid meltdowns with him. Once he got into his seat I strapped him in as quickly as possible. He was still struggling to turn around to “see the puppy”, but I kept talking to him about going to church. I got us on our way. I still couldn’t cry. I still couldn’t let him hear my emotions. A few slipped out and he started repeating, “hi buddy hi buddy it’s ok buddy hi buddy”. It snaps me to reality. I have to be calm. I want to cry. I really want to cry. My emotions have to wait. I got him to church and I walked away crying. I can’t magically change where I live to help him with this corner and there is no promise that someplace else wouldn’t have its own set of rules that we would need to overcome. I breathe through these moments and try to remind myself this is how he can express his emotions for now. I was on edge for the whole rest of the night. I tell myself the same thing I tell him, we need patience and understanding, and together we can get through anything. He didn’t even mention the corner or the puppy this morning as we stood to wait for his bus. I hug my baby tighter, I tell him I love him, and that everything is going to be fine. Find your strength, know that you are amazing, and today is one moment in time. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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