I can tell you there are no emotions like emotions that are beyond emotional. Today was like a rollercoaster that wasn’t even on a track. I cried a lot, wanted to cry more, and knew I had to hold it together. Not only does my world revolve around Owen but I also have to deal with life. And right now that seems to be pretty stressful. But my shining star shined strong today even through a few edgy moments. I ask Owen a lot of questions. I try to help him with the answer when I know he is struggling with them. I remember before I knew he had autism I would have full conversations with him trying to get him to say words and I don’t think I have ever stopped. I’m trying not to cry more. But I see connections now and I remind him that he is doing great and amazing things every day. We were waiting for the bus and I asked him to point to which direction our house was. I love watching him point. He clearly has to think through the movements but he lifted his left hand, watched his pointer finger extend, and pointed towards our house. I wanted to jump for joy. I asked him which direction his bus comes from and there it was again, the same steps, and pointing the right direction. Then he saw his bus coming and pure joy took over. For dinner, I gave him a turkey sandwich. I am trying to teach him how to hold his food instead of pick at it. I put each side of the sandwich in his hands and helped him take a bite. He took several great bites but as soon as I stopped helping him he put it down and started tearing at the meat. I set five different colored cups down in front of him. The first thing he noticed was the pink one was gone because I was using it. I asked him to pick one. He picked blue. He actually picked only one and it wasn’t the first one, the last one, or even the middle one. This felt like huge progress. I poured his milk in it and he was really happy. He asked me to find an app on his tablet but I make him spell the words he wants to look up now. He wanted me to do it but I said you can do it. He took it back from me and started typing it out. One more victory. I turned the lights off in the wrong order as we headed to his bath but he quickly got them adjusted correctly and off we went. Through tired eyes, I see the miracles of today and I believe in the joys of what will come tomorrow. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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