To Test Thursday

I ran through the paces with Owen, like I always do. I talk to him about his days ahead, explaining what day it is, and what will be happening over the next few days. On Saturday we go to a followup doctor’s appointment for the ear infection he had; they want to check to make sure it is completely gone. I told him that we had to go to his doctor, and he said her name. I’m so excited that he is making these connections. The smile is still shining through when I think about it. I try to focus on those positive moments, but sometimes the days can still be overwhelming. When you think something is going to go one way, and the mention of the wrong word, or a stoplight, or even a food, throws Owen into a complete tailspin, it’s hard for us to both recover, and move forward. The other day when I got him from the bus, we were supposed to go home to pick up something, and go right back out the door. I explained this to him over, and over again from the bus stop. As soon as we walked into the house he started taking off his shoes, and clothes. The more I tried to get him to leave his clothes on the more he screamed. The screaming turned into crying, and then a full meltdown. We weren’t going anywhere. All I could do is hold him. A wave of sadness rushes over me thinking about it. I have to keep my emotions in check. I can’t get mad, sad, glad, or impatient; I just have to breathe. The more emotions I show in those moments, the more it can send him into a meltdown. When he comes home, it is a hard transition for him to leave. Wednesday nights he is prepared to go to his church program, so he is fine with those days, but there is still a routine to Wednesday nights. We have to come home, eat dinner, and then go back out. I try to stretch our boundaries, pushing our limits, but I also have to prepare myself for those days he can’t process it. Some days opening my front door is one of the hardest things I have to do, for both of us. There’s a comfort in routine, but as much as we try to stick to routine, there’s nothing about life that is truly routine. Today, I’m excited for Owen’s growth. I look forward to tomorrow, knowing that there are amazing things coming our way, one day at a time. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small they are. Each, and every one is worth it. Smiles to all and donut daze!