To say I got myself all twisted in a circle is an understatement. I want to hang the gone fishing sign out and be out on the water. Some days feel so incredibly hard. Owen fell asleep quicker last night than he had in quite a while, but then he was crying off and on all night. I don’t think he was ever fully awake when he was crying either. Once he fell asleep he started crying. I never even left his bed last night. I stayed and held him through his emotions. My own emotions got the better of me tonight. He started yelling at me because he wanted to keep playing and I told him it was time to get ready for his bath. He walked up to me and pushed me from behind. Whenever he hits me I immediately get down to eye level with him and talk to him about hitting. He doesn’t really like it when I correct him. And he especially doesn’t like it when I try to explain to him about actions, reactions, and emotions, then add in the fact I was eye level with him, making him concentrate on my words is extremely hard for him to process it and can easily push him into overload quickly. I still have to explain it to him though and make him understand why we can’t be mean to people. I made him apologize to me and then I gave him a big bear hug, telling him I love him. The rollercoaster ride was long today. He was so happy most of the day, but constantly on the edge of a meltdown. I dreaded bedtime all day, but fortunately after the yelling and hitting it was an easy transition from bath to bed. I have been trying new calming music and without any supplements, he has been falling asleep easier without the constant motions of kicking and flailing in bed. Even through his anxious moments today we had a lot of laughs, his smile shined bright, and my heart soared. The tears in my eyes fell down my check more times than I wanted them to today, but we both got through our emotions and together we are a team. Autism wasn’t important to me until autism was important to me. Find your motivation, be inspired by the world around you, and know that you can do great things if you set your mind to it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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