Too Tired Thursday

I went to bed as soon as I could last night. Owen, and I both seemed exhausted. He now falls asleep on the couch, and then I move him to his bed. He’s still tiny, so it’s easy to move him, but that day is coming when I will not be able to carry him. His bed is one of those things I thought I over-thought it all the way through, but it wasn’t. It’s higher off the ground with a storage area underneath, that I thought he could use a hideout; a little sensory room. But instead the height makes it that much more fun for him to jump off of, and throw things from. The other reason I got it was because there is an edge almost the entire way around the bed, except where the ladders go; this part is perfect for my acrobatic, tossing, and turning son, but it’s hard for me to get in, and out of it I want to lay with him until he would fall asleep. Me getting out of his bed is the same as having a herd of elephants run through our house, and it wakes him every time I try to get out. And for some reason me standing next to his bed does not help him fall asleep either. It was becoming a two, or three hour a night ritual for him to go to sleep. So asleep on the couch has become our go to thing. There were so many things I didn’t understand what it would meant to raise a sensory child. My emotions were getting the best of me for a moment, but Owen snapped me back to the moment we are in. He’s sitting, attached to my hip, at the moment. He could feel my emotions, and he said the simple word “hi”. There is nothing simple about that word for him. It’s taken him great effort to learn to say it, but it’s also packed with his own emotions; and as much as he can tell that I’m upset, I can tell the same thing with the tone he says “hi” in. I’m learning to not cry as much when Owen is around. It’s very hard on him, and that makes it harder on me. So tonight, as we both sit here yawning, and in our own emotions, I think about starting bedtime, and all the ways I hope I can make his bedtime routine better. He reached for my hand, and smiled. That’s what gets me through my days. Give someone your smile today, they may need it more than you can ever imagine. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!