I woke up, already feeling like I was struggling. Some days are like that. No sleep again. Owen got into bed with at some point. He fell back asleep after moving and flopping around in my bed for a while but it was hard for me to sleep after that. My head kept me from fully falling back asleep but what I really needed was the sleep. I try to figure out ways to keep the chaos at bay but I think I create more chaos in return. Words can start the avalanche of emotions for Owen. We have to repeat his schedule over and over again. He will ask for tomorrow’s events but he wants me to say the same words. I said to him one night he would see his teacher in the morning “but you have to go to sleep first”. Now that’s how many of his conversations start with me. He will say, “you have to” and I have to go through his next day. It’s a big mind game for me. You have to tune out repetitive behaviors but I also have to foster conversations with him and ignoring the conversation can create meltdowns. The fine line of walking the line. We walked to the bus stop repeating his schedule for the week and it seemed like for the weeks to come. He has been referencing every day as “Monday” confusing the issue even further. He knows the days of the week and he knows what we do on the days of the week but started saying Monday for everything until we talk about the order. The routine of our weeks helps him process his days but I also wonder if it creates the chaos as well. If we don’t do what is expected then it becomes harder for him, like vacation days from school are hard. Last night has to be one of the most successful nights for potty training we have had. No accidents all the way to bedtime. I rejoice in that and it helps to push away the days before. That’s always my goal, pushing forward. Through the weathered storm, turbulence will show you a path to peace. Reflect on yesterday, let it go, and know that you are a lot stronger because of the storm you walked through. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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