I can tell you right now today was a second Monday. At least I’m feeling better. Owen had a pretty good morning and then he went to see his grandparents, but coming home the meltdown light struck again. He screamed, I cried. All I can say is at least it’s not like it was before, hours and hours of meltdowns from that one light. When we got home he had a happy night. We played his game on his tablet together. And by that I mean I had to follow the rules. Every time I didn’t do the action he wanted me to do he would take the tablet and run. So do I mix it up or follow the rules. This is the question I ask myself constantly and some days it’s different answers. I know there are days the rules mean everything to him and other days it’s fine if we stretch them ever so slightly. I held him until he fell asleep. I’m trying not to cry the rest of the night away. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I tried not to think about how Owen licked the car before I could get him in it. This is his new thing and it’s something I have to figure out how to stop. If I push too hard he will do it more and if I don’t find a way to stop it, well I’m not going to think about it. I pray I can convince him to stop licking things. I pray tomorrow for calm. I pray that he understands my words more. And that I can start figuring out how to prepare him for school, through all the uncertainties of what will happen next. One day at a time I keep reminding myself and it looks more like one minute at a time the last few days. Through what seems like several impossible days I remind myself that the word says “I’m possible”. Even on those hard days know that anything is possible and you can achieve great things if you put your mind to it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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