I heard Owen in the living room right at the new wake-up time of five in the morning. I’ll take it. He went straight for his tablet. He didn’t come to tell me about the blue bed or my bed. I did however tell him he needed to go to the bathroom before he could play with his tablet. His response was, “no bathroom today”. And my response is always “then no tablet today”. He then goes on to repeat “tablet tablet” several more times and off he runs to use the bathroom. It’s like we have to go through all the steps. He knew immediately how much time until we would read together and when we would get ready for school. It’s interesting to me that he can sense time because he can’t read the clocks, that I know of. He got very concerned that I had hidden bananas in the house. “Bananas go to bed banana in the bed”, he said. He quickly followed it up with “banana in the trash throw it away” and on and on about the bananas that were not here. I’m not sure why he is concerned about the banana again. He’s gone back and forth over the years about the banana but I thought this was one we wouldn’t cycle back through. He used to have huge meltdowns over one single banana but we’ve worked through this for several years and he seemed to be doing fine with them. My heart aches and tears float in my eyes. When something that isn’t even in my house has him so concerned and one wrong word that I would have said could have sent him into a huge meltdown. And distracting him only lasts so long. I remember when he was little and he would do the same behavior for an hour I would try to distract him. I didn’t understand his need to do it at the time. It didn’t matter how long I tried to occupy him as soon as I let him go back to doing something on his own he would go right back to the activity I was trying to distract him from and he would have to finish his emotions. That could last five more minutes or five more hours. It was the process he needed though. When it was time to read I had gotten him a new book. As soon as he saw it he took it from me and said, “Pete the Cat”. I’m not sure how he knew it already but he was excited. I read it with him, having him read some of the words and then us singing the little song it showed together. He was happy about it. The morning went fast and off he rode on the bus. My heart sank a little. Only three more days of school next week and then he doesn’t go back until August. He loves school so much and thrives in the environment. I have to keep pushing us forward. When he got home from school he was happy and calm, mostly. Our internet keeps going in and out and that upsets him. I don’t blame him. He didn’t eat many snacks today but he had a huge dinner. He told me he didn’t want to take a bath and then he said he did. I think he likes to see if he can stay up longer if he suggests the bath after the fact but he can hardly stay awake in the tub. I pray he sleeps through the night once again even though he knows he is going to grandma’s house tomorrow. His smile, his laugh, and his words fill my heart with gladness. Know that you are important and today is the first day of the rest of your life. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.