Some days my heart soars with gladness, other days I’m a pile of jelly on the floor, trying to figure out exactly how to pick myself up off the ground. I never have enough time to sit, even though that’s what I mostly do. When I’m sitting, I’m still active; mostly my brain spinning in a million directions, all wondering how to help my baby. It’s like you can’t focus on anything, because you are focusing on everything. The time changed this weekend. No matter how you look at it, for us it is hard. The concept of time isn’t something Owen understands to begin with, and then add in the change it gets even more difficult. Bedtime is different, our morning routine is different. And it’s only an hour. I had to wake him up this morning to go to school. He immediately pulled the covers back over him. I totally understood, I had done the same thing. The last week has felt rough for us. He’s growing, learning what his body is capable of doing, and finding new ways to express himself, but with that they are not all great choices. He knows how to make himself gag, and then throw up. How do you stop a sensory child from doing this. He finds great humor, and enjoyment in the mess of what he has created with his body. I have to take him immediately from the mess, or he will play in it; all I can think is I’m thankful he has moved passed the fecal smearing. The doctors, and therapists tell you to get ahead of the behaviors, stop them before they happen, but which behavior do I get ahead of first. My heart cries out for my child. Once I have him cleaned up, and ready for his next learning experience, I try to explain to him why he shouldn’t do something. And along comes the words that make everything alright, “I wuv ewe wanna hug”. All I can do is push forward, grow, and tell him I love him, too. I never imagined how emotional, and hard this could be; the easiest part of this journey is the love I have for my son. Owen has taught me more about myself, and the world than I can even explain. For the love of Owen I push myself to be a better me. Life can be messy, but together we can make a difference. Find your strength, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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