Owen comes running around the corner, announcing he was getting into the “blue bed” when he was about to get in the “white bed”, then getting into the white bed, immediately getting back out, and informing me he is getting his tablet to take to the blue bed. This is clearly not how this works but there we were before three o’clock in the morning. I told him he could have his tablet if he went to his bed. I truly wanted to sleep. That was not going to happen. He was up for the rest of the night. Trying to get him back to sleep when he is clearly awake is virtually impossible. The morning seemed extremely slow. He was pretty calm though as long as I was sitting. He likes order and blue pants. He wanted to make sure we were both wearing the appropriate things to the bus stop and he wanted me to wear five different pairs of shoes when he came home. I try to explain to him that I can only wear one pair at a time but I think it is partly a way for him to have conversations with me. I got a new toilet installed today, hoping the quieter one would help with several bathroom behaviors we’ve been having. Plus the old one looked like it was stuck in time at a western salon and this made it even louder. Well, I don’t know that it has helped yet but it is nice to have one that I thought he couldn’t break quickly or get clogged, however, today is the day he decided to really learn how to use toilet paper. Or take toilet paper off the roll and put it in the toilet. It’s the fine line of letting him go to the bathroom himself but knowing truly I can’t let him go to the bathroom himself. But most of the time it’s not a problem. Luckily plunger to the rescue and back to new. He ate so much tonight. He ate chicken and his veggies and as soon as he ate all his chicken he asked for more “chicken waffles shrimp please” so I gave him some of my fish which quickly became his fish. I’m thankful for his appetite. He fell asleep quickly and I guess he might have been a little tired since he woke so early. Emotions get me some days. I’m still grieving the loss of my brother, probably always will. Owen doesn’t always understand my sadness and it’s hard to explain. I remind myself to keep pushing forward and I’m trying to find a new way to breathe again. Know that you are not alone. Your story is important and you matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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