I want so bad to focus on the good for the day but the river ran through it. Owen found this five-second video of a Disney clip that someone posted. All the description had was the date and I tried to explain to him that YouTube would not understand what we were looking for when I used the voice-activated option. Next, I told him that we had to look at who posted it. This lead to hours upon hours upon hours of him repeating the word river. After me saying the title and the name of the person that posted it he then wanted to hear it every five seconds, as soon as it ended. The word “river” was part of the person’s name that posted it. This is one of those things that he saw it pushed my buttons. He also was compelled to watch the video because it gave him the sensory stimulation he was wanting but I could see the extra twinkle in his eyes as he asked me so many times. I have to walk that fine line of not letting him see what gets to me as well as not pushing him to get upset or have meltdowns if I do get upset about something. He knows how to look things up on YouTube he even wanted me to spell everything out for him so he could enter it into the search bar instead of me trying to find it with a voice-activated option. He got on the tv, went to YouTube there, and then searched for it by typing it in. At one point I told him I’d set a timer and when the timer went off I would look it up again. This lead to him standing an inch from my nose yelling, “when the timer goes off”. So today I learned that you can literally say the word “river” more than sixty times in sixty seconds for five hours. He did breathe and eat but otherwise, he wanted to watch the five-second video. I’m not sure if one of us learned a lesson today but I’m exhausted nonetheless and he fell asleep quickly. He wanted to follow no directions or work on any projects tonight. Some days we get through it. I held him a lot. I tried not to show my emotions and explain to him that we were a team and we needed to support and love each other. And that momma sure was cranky. He said, “are you happy today”. No matter what my sweet baby O teaches me the lessons I need to learn and grow from. Find your happiness, be excited for the tomorrow yet to come, and know that you make a difference. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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