Squish, squish, squish there went the pizza through his fingers. He rolls the cheese into an intricate ball as he sits there eating it. I remind Owen one more time to take a bite and put the pizza down. I get tired of explaining how to eat food but I know I have to keep going over it with him. He has both hands full of sauce, a little piece of pizza dangling from his nose, and it pretty much covering every surface near him. It’s funny how opposite we are about food. I didn’t want to eat a lot of finger foods growing up because I didn’t want to get more than two fingers on my hand dirty. Barbecue was one of those things I never wanted to eat because I didn’t want the sauce on my hands. And if something was in a wrapper I never took it out. I would pull the wrapper down as I ate it. I can say for sure I grew out of a lot of it but my sensory seeker has got me beat when it comes to food. I watched Owen struggle to go to sleep once again. New, old, different supplements don’t matter. His body seems to have a way to adjust through all of them. What should be calming to him causes him to be hyper and vice versa with everything it seems. He was so hyper as he fought to stay awake tonight, yawning the entire time, and kicking on his already stretched out bed rails. I put my fingers to my eyelids, underneath my glasses. Why, oh why did I do this. It sent him into overdrive. It was dark in the room but he can still see everything. He got so upset, pulling my hands off my eyes. He became like sizzling bacon in a pan, moving all over the bed, kicking his feet as a mermaid would. I cried. Another hour or so until sleep would happen. I’m holding onto the glorious laughter and words he said to me today, wanting to sing, and read with me as the night wore on. His smile is my gift, his joy shines in my heart, and his words calm my restless soul. Even in the chaos of the world find your calm ray of light. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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