Seriously what day is it. They are all blending together. Meltdowns are exhausting. Absolutely, completely, and totally exhausting. Not only are they exhausting for me they are exhausting for Owen. And sleep still won’t come easily in this state. He wants me to be able to translate French into English and he doesn’t understand why I can’t. He also wants me to look up every video that he is already watching with the voice-activated option in French. It’s hard enough doing this in English but all the other languages add a whole other level. He threw himself to the ground more times than I can count, screaming at me. “Toaster”, he yelled, wanting me to find it. It’s his go-to word now. All I could do was try to convince him to move on. He was on edge all night. He wanted everything in its place and would go behind me making sure I was not breaking any of his rules for routine and order. I opened a drawer. As soon as I opened it he was there to close it. He couldn’t handle it being open even for the ten seconds I needed it to be open. More meltdowns. He was watching a boy on a horse on TV and then he would find a reference to a boy on his tablet. Once he showed me the boy he would then find the horse. It is amazing how he makes these connections to the videos. He kept screaming at me throughout the night. I told him that I was going to take away his tablet if he kept doing it. He yells, “last chance I love you mommy” and hugged me. My heart aches sometimes at the emotions my sweet baby O goes through. It’s hard for him to process it all. It’s hard for me to process it all. But together we are a team. In the quiet of the night, I sit and reflect through all the steps he has made. Thankful and excited for his future through very tired eyes I rejoice in our victories. Celebrate you today. Life is hard so take time for you and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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