Some days are tougher than tough and other days we breeze on through them. Right now the weight of the world feels heavy and I see how it is affecting my child. He cries out for the people and places he cannot see or go to. How do I even explain this to him. The river of emotions sits heavy with me because this is my sweet baby O. I want to make him laugh when my heart is crying. Yesterday weighed on us. He doesn’t even realize it was technically the end of school for him because “school’s over” has been part of our everyday vocabulary for months now. We still did school-like activities, but having him work on his actual schoolwork produced meltdown after meltdown. I try to explain to him that he will be going back to school, but that causes meltdowns as well. It hasn’t been as hard on him with our other activities like church, bowling, and gymnastics because they weren’t an everyday event. He still asks about them and the people connected to them, but it is more of a confirmation of when he will go back with only the occasional meltdown over them. He’s much calmer today than yesterday. Some days he gets something on his mind and he can’t let go. You can see him going through it all, but there’s no clear way of getting him to stop the train. He’s singing tonight in several languages. I don’t think he understands the concept of what a language is so it’s all one language to him. And just like that we are singing Christmas carols and practicing his gymnastics moves. The smile is stronger on both our faces today. He keeps running to me and giving me a big hug. I think he is partly checking on my hair because I moved it over my shoulder while we were eating dinner and he immediately had to fix it by pulling it across my back. I have to be picture perfect some days more than others and today is one of those days. Through the rain I still see my son shine and I’m thankful. Never give up on the tomorrow yet to come because that’s where your dreams will grow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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