When to think Friday. We walked to the bus stop. Owen had been agitated since he woke up, and he couldn’t settle. Even at the bus stop he was on edge. He tried to walk away from corner as we were waiting. He normally stands in his spot. The traffic was unusually busy for the morning; many cars coming, and going. I always try to keep him close to me, but I also want him to have freedom. Plus, the outside world looking in sees a two second glance of my sweet baby O generally covering his one eye, and sometimes he is concentrating so much on the bus coming that any interaction I try to do with him makes him scream, or push at me. But I have to keep him safe when all these cars go by. One day as we were standing there, him trying to get away from my grasp, so he can stand right on the edge of the sidewalk, an officer approached the intersection very slowly. I still had my grasp on Owen; across his chest with one hand, holding his wrist with the other. The officer stopped, rolled down the window, and asked if everything was okay. I really can’t remember my exact words, but I know I told him we were waiting for the bus. He mentioned something about his eye, and I told him he had autism. I got Owen on the bus, and I cried all the way home. I get it, oh how I get it. And I’m thankful the officer checked on my son, but it’s gut wrenching. The two second view of our world can look like that sometimes. As Owen got off the bus today, the bus driving said he sang the whole ride home. He was happy, but there was a lot of traffic again. Owen didn’t want to walk across the street quickly. I tried to wait for all the cars to go, but several kept motioning for us to go. I held his wrist with one hand, and my other hand on his back. All I kept thinking was pleased don’t sit down in the middle of the crosswalk. We got to our front porch, very technically our home, and Owen starts taking off his shoes, and pants, right there on the porch. I realized what he was doing, and at the same time I said it, he said it, “keep them on”. I tell him this a lot; generally we are inside, but getting ready to go someplace when he wants to take his clothes off. Some days you just have to breathe. He said, “I wuv ewe”, and I know everything is going to be okay. Take a deep breathe, let yesterday go, and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
February 2025
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