Today’s a holiday, but to Owen it’s another day he doesn’t get to go to school or do any of his activities. Last night was one of the hardest nights we’ve had since all of this has begun. He got the days of the week on his mind and the more he thought about them the more upset he got about not doing his favorite activities. He knows he goes to church on Sundays and school was during the week. Saturdays are for our beloved coffee shop and bowling. And his newest activity of gymnastics started only a few months before this began, but has absolutely been one of his favorite activities to do. He cried and screamed and couldn’t get past any of it. My heart burst. I went to bed early with Owen from pure exhaustion, but there was no sleep to be had. He tossed and turned all night when he finally fell asleep. I just laid there unable to even move. The hours turned into the morning and luckily he woke happy. I feel like a zombie’s cousin making it through the day. He keeps watching a video about the days of the week and I keep trying to distract him. I don’t want him focusing on the coulda, woulda, shoulda beens. It’s hard enough for him on any given day, but then to add in his emotions about what he wants to be doing and my heart aches for him. He’s become my little social butterfly, wanting to go places, and interacting with people. That wasn’t always the case at first and there are still rules with that as well, but his growth is amazing and I pray that this doesn’t set us back. He’s having a really good day and using his words to ask for things he wants. I pray that tonight he is able to let go of the days of the week and get a night of sleep. He has repeated “school’s over” numerous times today, wanting me to agree and go through the motions with him. I try to tell him he will go back to school at some point, but that only gets us with him crying again. I hope that when he gets to ride the bus and school starts again it will be an easy transition for him. The times of uncertainty make it hard for me to prepare him for anything and I cry from knowing how this lack of routine is really hurting my son. I can see the anxiety in him increasing and I try to reassure him that we are in this together. Today we’ve laughed a lot, I made sure and tomorrow is a brand new day. We can wait for life to happen or we can go for our dreams. Dream big, dream often, and watch your world soar. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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