I want to hang the gone fishing sign out and be done with the day. I can’t even imagine all the emotions Owen has and can’t express. Or expresses by his outbursts and cries. I can see him still grasping at anything that seems like something to him. He couldn’t stop repeating “wanna get ready” to me as he was drifting off to sleep. He wants to stay on the go and I can see him wanting to explain it all to me but doesn’t know-how. I still don’t know how to explain it to him. I can see it affects him still by not being able to see the people he wants to see. My heart aches for him even more. I keep telling myself we are close to the finish line, but then getting him back into a swing of life that took years to get him into may not be so easy as well. More emotions as the people that left his life enter again. And of course, it’s no fault of there’s but he doesn’t necessarily put that connection with it. All I can do is one day at a time. He wanted a lot of interaction with me tonight, having me repeat the words and actions he needed to hear. I know it helps him process, but I still try to distract him from constantly repeating his words. He will say the exact same thing over and over again for twenty minutes or two hours. It’s all the same to him. And me, I’m begging him to move forward. I saw a lot of growth today though. I can tell he is figuring out how his body works and getting stronger every day. I’m thankful. My emotions sat heavy today as he yelled many times at me, screaming if I would ask him questions or try to talk to him. I kept pushing forward. Some day that’s all we can do, keep pushing forward. Make today matter. And know that you can do great things if you set your mind to it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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