All day I wanted to tell Owen he is meeting his teacher tomorrow and all day I avoided it. I couldn’t. And I hated it. If I would have told him all his emotions would have tumbled out at that moment and not to mention the hours at bedtime it would have been hard for him asking me about what we were doing tomorrow. I wanted to prepare him for going back to school, a new school at that and meeting his teacher, but I knew it would be too hard on him. I will tell him in the morning. Months and months and months went by and he still asked for school and his teacher even when it was closed. I worry now that he won’t go back yet, that there will be something that keeps the kids from going. And I’m also concerned that when they do go back to school that they will have to close again. That would be devastating for him. All I can do is breathe and take one day at a time. I have been doing everything I can to simplify my house for Owen. Every light is light, every noise is noise, and every change is a process we have to go through. He hears the electric in the walls and the movement of things like the washer and dryer. This morning I woke to the cat water fountain being taken apart. He had told me the other day it was “makey de noise”, but he walked away from it. I know that depending on how much water it has in it the noise will be at different levels for him. The older he gets the more everything seems amplified as well. I hope that he can learn to explain what bothers him about it so I can help him through how to process all the noise and lights too. I will try to change as much as I can but there is only so much I can do about the lights themselves. I know even certain light switches bother him more than others. They will make different sounding clicking noises when they are turned on and off. I hope as he learns more about music and sounds that he will find a way to drown out the sounds coming from every angle in our world. Today was a much better day than we’ve had in quite a while. There were a few rough edges, but in general, he was very happy. I pray for a good day tomorrow and that he quickly takes to his new teacher and school. She sounded wonderful on the phone when I spoke to her about all my concerns and was very receptive to everything I wanted to do. I’m thankful Owen had a good day and I am glad that he shared his beautiful smile with me. We played and sang together which makes for a very good day. Never give up on the hope for a beautiful tomorrow. Life changes quickly. Keep moving forward and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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