Owen slept all night. I think I woke up at least ten times. He got his tablet, came to see me, and then I told him to go to the bathroom. If I have told him one time I have told him a hundred times not to take his tablet into the bathroom with him. He makes a mess in the bathroom and then his tablet gets wet and he then gets upset because it gets wet. It goes round and round. I want him to have independence in the bathroom but he’s not quite there yet. So I kept taking his tablet away because he would not listen to me and into the bathroom it went. I asked him if he needed more milk. He didn’t answer. I asked again in a minute. I try to give him time because I know some of it is the time he needs to process everything. Then I asked if his glass was empty or full and he said, “empty.” I love that he got this concept. One of the times I took his tablet today I told him he could play with anything else. He decided to play his guitar for me. I love how he is starting to hold the guitar a little more correctly. He sang numerous songs and was very happy. I gave him back his tablet with instructions on not taking his tablet in the bathroom again. That did not go over well again. He ate his breakfast and then he put his tablet down and played his keyboard all on his own. I love when he does that. We got ready for church in our non-blue pants. He handled it pretty well. I asked him who he was going to see today and he named one of the guys that helps out in his class a lot and then two of the girls but he always calls them each “girl.” I asked him what their names were and he said “this girl and the girl.” I’m really not sure which is which but I told him their real names. He didn’t change what he calls them though. He was very talkative on the way there. He enjoyed his class as well. When we left he wanted his chicken nuggets and cheeseburger. After we got his food we headed home. Halfway there he started talking about going to the farm to see Goofy on the tractor. He was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and wanted to go to the farm so he could ride on a tractor. I told him we could go to look for a tractor after he ate his lunch. I drove him all over the place and no tractor so then we went by the golf course and this was not a tractor but he then learned he wanted to also ride on a golf cart. I’m going to have to find out the rules and if he can ride in one at the golf course. We drove for a while longer and we only saw one person on a riding lawnmower. He liked it but he still wanted a tractor. There are a couple of farms that have more activities on them but if he has something in mind that will not go smoothly to take him. When we got home he told me again he wanted to sit on the tractor. He said, “order it.” I told him that I couldn’t today but maybe one day. As the night wore on it was a “rollercoaster” or at least according to Owen. For some reason that was the word, he kept throwing out. He looked out our window and my neighbor was parked but had the car doors open and her trunk. This sent Owen into a complete meltdown. He was screaming for her to close the doors and no matter what I said he was screaming. He kept opening the windows to look. My heart just sank because I knew this was going to make for a rough night. He sat with me after I told him numerous times to not open the windows so he wouldn’t see them again. I held him for quite some time and it was like he was in sensory overload from the experience. He was in a tight little ball in my arms. I could feel him relaxing after his muscles got tense from the experience. I never know if I should put a film on my windows. Today makes me think I should because of the anxiety it can cause him. I thought a lot about my brother as I sat in church today. In a few short months, it will be a year that he has been gone. I know my brother would have loved it that Owen wanted to see a tractor. Over the last few months, I have reflected a lot on progress and change. I’m proud of the progress Owen is making. Be inspired and know that you can change the world with your ideas. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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