Exhaustion won for Owen. He was asleep quickly and woke up after seven. I woke up more times than I can even imagine. Life feels more complicated today than it did even yesterday.
I was thankful Owen was calm when he woke up. He came to me without saying good morning but he didn’t immediately talk about his tablet. He went through his days ahead. He wanted to talk about seeing his teacher and friends. My heart is sinking as our life is about to change more than I can think through.
In a short few weeks he will be done with school and not only will he be done with school he will be moving on to a new school next year. I’m excited for him because I feel it will be another great experience but I wouldn’t be the queen of overthinking if I didn’t overthink every moment that will lead to our days ahead. And all the changes that will rock his world until we can find some calm again.
Next will be summer school but that is only three weeks. Then the summer of keeping him moving forward and me moving forward with him. I get stuck standing in the doorframe some days. I don’t want to walk out into the world because I wait for the responses Owen will have when we face the day. I don’t want to step backward into my comfort zone because where truly is the comfort since I always have to be prepared for the next scream, emotions, or behavior. And I’m not talking only about his emotions. Autism wasn’t important to me until autism was important to me. I remind myself to keep moving forward through the doorframe because I see the progress of where we were when the journey began.
Owen’s focus was more on tomorrow than today until it was time to be focused on church and then it was constant in those moments. He couldn’t stop talking about going and the color of our pants. I breathe. I know it will be fine we just have to walk through the doorframe.
I didn’t talk to Owen much in the car on the way to church. I could tell he wanted to create conflict and emotions more than needing the comfort of his day. He kept making noises like he was going to spit. I didn’t react. My reaction is exactly what he wanted. It worked and he didn’t get upset. When we got out of the car to walk into church he held my hand some and mostly listened on our way in. That was a big step for him.
As soon as we got home he was through with Sunday according to his plan of action. He was very concerned with who would be at school and all the moving parts of his Monday. The ride home from church was bumpy and my tears throughout the day were a waterfall for how hard it is on my sweet baby O. How many doctors, therapists, and advisors can we have to find answers?
Life becomes complicated but it is how you learn to live through and thrive in the daily complications that show you how to walk through the door. Love, patience, kindness, grace, and understanding are all part of those moments that give you peace in the days ahead. Believe in the hope for tomorrow. Find the moments you can reflect on and let that change your journey for tomorrow. Live in those moments. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I was thankful Owen was calm when he woke up. He came to me without saying good morning but he didn’t immediately talk about his tablet. He went through his days ahead. He wanted to talk about seeing his teacher and friends. My heart is sinking as our life is about to change more than I can think through.
In a short few weeks he will be done with school and not only will he be done with school he will be moving on to a new school next year. I’m excited for him because I feel it will be another great experience but I wouldn’t be the queen of overthinking if I didn’t overthink every moment that will lead to our days ahead. And all the changes that will rock his world until we can find some calm again.
Next will be summer school but that is only three weeks. Then the summer of keeping him moving forward and me moving forward with him. I get stuck standing in the doorframe some days. I don’t want to walk out into the world because I wait for the responses Owen will have when we face the day. I don’t want to step backward into my comfort zone because where truly is the comfort since I always have to be prepared for the next scream, emotions, or behavior. And I’m not talking only about his emotions. Autism wasn’t important to me until autism was important to me. I remind myself to keep moving forward through the doorframe because I see the progress of where we were when the journey began.
Owen’s focus was more on tomorrow than today until it was time to be focused on church and then it was constant in those moments. He couldn’t stop talking about going and the color of our pants. I breathe. I know it will be fine we just have to walk through the doorframe.
I didn’t talk to Owen much in the car on the way to church. I could tell he wanted to create conflict and emotions more than needing the comfort of his day. He kept making noises like he was going to spit. I didn’t react. My reaction is exactly what he wanted. It worked and he didn’t get upset. When we got out of the car to walk into church he held my hand some and mostly listened on our way in. That was a big step for him.
As soon as we got home he was through with Sunday according to his plan of action. He was very concerned with who would be at school and all the moving parts of his Monday. The ride home from church was bumpy and my tears throughout the day were a waterfall for how hard it is on my sweet baby O. How many doctors, therapists, and advisors can we have to find answers?
Life becomes complicated but it is how you learn to live through and thrive in the daily complications that show you how to walk through the door. Love, patience, kindness, grace, and understanding are all part of those moments that give you peace in the days ahead. Believe in the hope for tomorrow. Find the moments you can reflect on and let that change your journey for tomorrow. Live in those moments. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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