Every day is a day of expectations. The choice however is how you accept when life throws you not only a curveball but an elephant carrying that curveball, while holding a pizza, singing a song, and stepping in the way of everything you are doing, you breathe. You have to remember to breathe. Sometimes that’s hard. Owen was up at five. I may have woken up before him, maybe. He got his tablet and I woke cranky. I stayed up way too late, worrying about way too many things that I have no control over. As soon as Owen was awake he was ready to go to therapy. I told him that it would be several hours and we would eat some breakfast first and then we could go for a walk. I pushed him in the directions he wanted to go for the most part. When we got to the police station I started to cry and I tried hard to keep the tears from running down my cheeks. I keep putting off taking him there. I want them to see him, interact with him and know who he is in case he ever needs them for any reason. I told him if he needed help that this was a place he could come. He said, “help down the slide.” I cried. He wanted one of them to go to the park with him and watch him go down the slide. We kept walking. We walked around to the windows he loves. He talked about the doors in different places and the windows being like computers. When we were heading up the street he said, “car wash has vacuum.” I can’t remember how many times he’s screamed about the car wash but it never once dawned on it was because of the vacuum. We walked by the post office and just like he had been doing it since he was young he reached his hand to touch the bricks. He absolutely loves the building and the bricks but going into the post office causes huge meltdowns. We walked by the fire station and I said the same thing to him as when we had walked by the police station. I tried not to cry again. “Vent monster,” he said as we walked home. I’m not sure where it came from and what it meant. When we got home I helped him get out of the little red wagon and I folded it up to put it in the car. He looked at the telephone pole and he said, “climb” which is more like a hug but he does try. I told him not to climb it because one day he will be able to and I don’t want him to climb it, as I was saying the words he kissed or licked the telephone pole. No splinters and he happily ran to the porch afterwards. He really had a pretty good day after that. He ate a lot for lunch and a pretty good dinner and sandwiched in between meals he went to therapy. I went a different route because of all the construction and it upset him but thankfully he realized we were still going even though I told him we were. I try to explain why we are doing something different so he understand. The rollercoaster ride of behaviors went on throughout the night and he said he didn’t want to walk tomorrow but I think it will change. He was asleep before I knew it and hopefully, the requests for his teacher will be less tomorrow. I know this is so incredibly hard on him. I’m thankful for his laughter and it made my day when he wanted his book we read today with him at dinner. Write your dreams out loud and watch them come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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