More tears were shed last night as Owen fell asleep. Although not as many as the night before. He woke happy, asking about his schoolwork. He said, “math first” and then listed his apps that he uses at school. I felt a sense of relief for those words alone. He didn’t much want to actually do the work as the day wore on, but instead, his concern was for the vacuum cleaner. I wasn’t even vacuuming, but he asked about it constantly. And by constantly I mean constantly. For hours he asked about it. However, the little know clause is that he doesn’t like the vacuum cleaner in real life, only on videos. I tried to put it off as long as I could, but I knew if I didn’t bring out the vacuum he would continue to ask every five seconds for the rest of the day. I timed him once to see how often he really did repeat everything. Sometimes the words don’t even leave his mouth and he is already preparing to say the word again. And I have to prepare myself for his actions and reactions if I do or don’t respond. Me not responding creates the ripple effect and he keeps repeating it. Me responding gives him the satisfaction he is seeking, but the words do not stop. He will get nose to nose with me if he can and repeat even more. And if he can’t get in my face he will pull on me to get my attention. Once I got the vacuum out he started screaming for me to sit down and turn it off and it was even plugged in. I knew this would happen. He loves watching reviews of vacuum cleaners, but when it comes to the real thing he’s done. There are times though he will sit next to it and play with it, reciting the words from the videos he has watched. He kept walking to it and telling me to turn it off. After an hour I put it away again. I knew it would get worse for him if I left it out. He only asked me a couple more times through the night about it. I try to remember this is how he processes it and let it be as he needs it. I also struggle with letting him repeat something like this all day. I know this only makes it harder on him . I try to find a way to distract him and change his focus. This is easier said than done. As the day wore on it was harder and harder on Owen. He cried numerous times throughout the day, but the night was miserable. To see him struggling to process all of this breaks my heart. He cried and cried tonight. I was finally able to call a few people on the phone for him and he screamed, but I can tell after it was done he was calmer. These are trying times. The path we expected right now has taken many twists and turn. Remember you are not alone. We will learn and grow from the experiences we have today. Keep pushing forward and know tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.