Today’s one of those one breath at a time kinda days. Nothing really went wrong but nothing went smoothly either and Owen probably listened better than most days so I should turn that frown upside down. Owen repeats his words a lot, a lot a lot. And the anxiousness and sadness he has been experiencing with no routine has caused it to increase. He will ask me the same question or state the exact same words hundreds of times in a day. Sometimes it feels like a hundred times in a few minutes. It’s possible really. Distraction is about the only thing I can do to get him off a subject and right now the subject is mostly school-related. He misses his routine and who doesn’t miss their favorite things. When he asks me a question I will answer it a couple of times and then he builds on the question and asks something else. He will add the phrase, “and den” wanting me to continue explaining what’s going to happen. Now when he says it I say, “then I will love you forever”. Today he went through the whole conversation by himself. He asked the questions, gave the responses, and then the “and den” was answered by my sweet baby O. He said it. He said, “den I will love ewe forever”. My eyes filled with a few tears that couldn’t spill over because the would start a whole process with Owen, but I always get so excited when he talks about emotions or he says I love you. It takes repetitive actions and words for him to learn something. It can be months of repeating the exact same behavior until he gets it. I tell him I love him all the time. I explain to him that I get emotional and I want him to know that is part of life. I even explain what emotions are. My emotions will quickly send him into a meltdown if I’m not careful in how I express myself. My tears will bring hysterical laughter from Owen because he doesn’t understand how to process it if my tears alone don’t cause a meltdown. But today through all my emotions and his, he remained pretty calm, of course until the bedtime routine and then he became a bucking bronco in a china shop eating pizza while carrying on twenty-five conversations about socks that don’t match. The fake snoring quickly, if two hours later is quick, turned into real snoring and he said, “fall asleep with music” still wide awake argh that point for another hour. . Life isn’t always easy to explain, but the love sure is. Dream of the possibilities, focus on the positive side of life, and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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