I woke numerous times last night as the world spun around me. I kept hearing noises and thought it was Owen. He slept until after seven though. We are going to have to adjust his sleeping over the next few days so he wakes up in time for the bus on Monday. He can’t wait to go see his grandma tomorrow so it’s “anticipation Friday.” I will be shocked if he sleeps all through the night. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with which skill I should try to help Owen with or in what particular order or which way I should do it and the list goes on and on. There are many other aspects with his sensory needs, muscle control, and tone that I want to work on with him as well. He is biting his finger a lot more now but at least he isn’t biting through the skin. Then I have to decide is it his age, autism, or Owen, and I’m sure there are combinations of this and other aspects that I’m not even thinking of. My sweet baby O is brilliant and keeping him active, moving forward, and happy is my goal. But I also have to remember I’m human. He was very happy when he woke up this morning. I wanted to work with him on waving hi. This is still a hard skill for him. When I go through the steps I will raise my arm and ask him to do it with me. Instead, he wants to hold my hand in the sky. When I do get him to wave his hand he turns it towards himself but this is huge progress. He wanted to look for a treasure chest. I wasn’t quite sure if it was in a game or if he was becoming a pirate. We’ve been talking about both lately. He then wanted a “gift and present.” I tried to explain they were the same thing but you could refer to them with each name. He screamed more times than I could count. Mostly they were happy screams but I still find myself responding extremely quickly to keep him from having meltdowns. I tried to stay ahead of my emotions today. I miss my brother. Anytime I would be sad though it is hard on Owen. He makes this guttural noise and growls if I cry when he can’t handle it. I have to push forward. I tell him all the time I love him and mommy being sad happens sometimes. If I bring up my brother he will talk about seeing “uncle wichard.” I said, “you know what” and he said, “I love you.” He was full of many wonderful words and conversations as the day went on. “Hi hippo it’s a potamus,” he said as he was watching an alphabet video and a hippopotamus flew across the screen. He then was watching motorcycles and he said, “Owen ride a motorcycle let’s go ride a motorcycle. Owen likes motorcycle.” I may or may not have accidentally said, “so now you want to go ride a motorcycle and he said, “yes” and was expecting us to do it. It was an excellent conversation though. We were going to go to the park with our friends but they couldn’t make it. I told him we could go without them and he said, “it’s too late.” It was ten in the morning but I’ve told him that before when it was after dinner or too dark. “Chocolate milk and veggie straw,” he asked for and said very clearly. We have been working on the pronunciation of words because he is now pushing all his words together. I tell him mommy knows what he means but we want everyone to hear and understand his words. I told him that his tablet was charging and that after he finished his dinner he could have it. I went to the bathroom and came back out. His plate was clean. I thought wow that was fast because I thought he had a lot more shrimp to eat but maybe not as much as I thought. He threw it all away and put his empty plate back on the table. He got his tablet and asked for more food. I cooked him more because he said he was hungry and I didn’t realize he threw the other away until I went to throw something in the trash. He finished his second dinner. He ran from the kitchen and got in my bed before I could stop him. The shrimp that was all over him went straight into my bed. Some days I feel like I’m not doing enough but when he got into my bed all covered in shrimp I stood next to the bed wanting to cry and then he said, “sit right here.” I sat right there. My tears turned to joy as his smile lit up the room. Nothing else matters. He’s happy and he knows I love him. I went back to the kitchen to clean up and his tablet battery went out. Instant gratification is the thing now. I told him I would take care of it in just a minute when I was done. He brought the cord and his tablet to me. He doesn’t understand the cord needs to be in the outlet. I’m thankful for his laughter that kept my blues away. We learn, we love, we grow. Keep pushing forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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