Four o’clock in the morning was our ready, set, go time. I was not ready, nothing was set, and I sure didn’t want to go anywhere. Exhaustion wins the day. Owen was happy most of the day. There were still a few challenges though. There are things all over the house, everywhere, but for some reason, besides blankets and pillows, he does not want anything on my bed. I do not know when this rule started and I do not know why he is concerned about my bed but here we are. It makes me wonder already knowing how many things have been thrown off my bed in the last couple of days. I don’t even think about putting something on my bed until I see the laundry being thrown on the floor or the plate I carried in my bedroom and then put on the bed so I could pick the laundry up off the floor to only see the plate I sat down on the floor before I could finish picking up the laundry. There are toys on the couch because he wants them in a specific place, and the vacuum cleaner is in the middle of the living room because if he wakes up in the middle of the night and if it’s not there he will try to get it out of the closet. Which behavior do you work on, which behavior do you ignore, all the thoughts float around my head. And then the rules change. We got ready for church. He was concerned about my clothes but not his this morning. That felt like progress. We had to rush to get out the door though because I asked him to put his socks on and instead he ran to his room to turn the light on so then I sent him back to the couch to put his socks on and he ran to my room. The socks got left someplace at this point so I went back to his room to get more socks. Finally, out the door, we went. When he gets in the car I strap him into his seat. Then when I close the door I have to make sure he moves his foot because he wants to put it in the door as I close it. I have to tell him multiple times to move his foot over before I close the door. I don’t want to tell him he could hurt his foot because then that brings a whole other set of rules in motion. He was happy at church and he wanted his usual chicken nuggets and cheeseburger when we left. He finished all but a few fries and some of the cheeseburger. As soon as he finished he said, “more chicken please.” I asked how many and he said, “two please.” I cooked him five and he ate them all. He was a snacking machine today eating a little bit of everything as the day went on. He wanted pimento cheese crackers after his dinner. And I think he was finally full. He started biting his shirt collar again and this makes me want to cry. I reminded him several times throughout the day not to bite it, trying to distract him with other options. My heart aches for him. He needs the sensory input and I’m sure his teeth growing in do not help the process. He hasn’t done this in quite a while. I can’t tell you how many shirts he used to chew through each week. I’m trying not to think about it and hoping that he doesn’t start chewing on the couch or his bed again. It seems like it is another thing he is cycling back through. “Boo hoo panda’s happy panda’s sad,” he said but this time telling me the panda was sad because he was in ice. He said, “he crying.” I felt like this was closer to him understanding it. His therapist texted me to tell me about the puzzle they play with and miraculously it was the same one he had been able to find on YouTube and told me it was her puzzle. I still wonder how he found it. I know my sweet baby O is amazing and every day he proves it. Some days feel heavy but the sun will shine again and tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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