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Yes Wednesday

8/4/2021

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Can you count a night of sleep if you don’t sleep much, I wonder. I couldn’t fall asleep and then Owen woke and came to my bed. To say he is a bed hog is an understatement. Plus he wants, maybe “needs” is the better word, needs to be touching me. I think that is part of the reason he doesn’t sleep all night. I got up early thinking he might sleep a few more hours and I would have some quiet time to think. I got my coffee made and sat down on the couch and here he comes. It’s not unusual for him to be up early I just thought he might sleep late today. When he woke he immediately started sneezing and his nose was yucky. I thought oh no not again. Plus, I worried that it might go to his ears. I gave him some allergy medicine and by the end of the morning, he was sounding much better. We had a lot of rain go through last night and maybe that stirred up his allergies again. Tomorrow is his therapy day and in the morning we are going to see the horses. I am hoping everything goes smoothly so he can go to both. I will be happy when he goes back to school on Monday. I can see some of his repetitive behaviors increasing. I lost track of how many times he would say, “no more” and either finish it with his teacher’s name or leave it hanging with his foot stomping wanting me to finish it. I try to move him forward in these moments. It’s hard to not get stuck on the behavior and instead try to work with him to process what he needs to know. I completely understand he has to do his process and wants to repeat his words but I also know that he can get stuck in the loop for literally hours, days, weeks, months, or years. He still revisits things that happened years ago. He never forgets a thing. Hence why he asks for a babysitter that he hasn’t seen in three years. My mind forgets all the rules and that can lead to him in a meltdown after meltdown. Oh, how I pray sometimes that he will understand he can’t scream at me. And going to the bathroom, can I roll my eyes at this and be done because I want to cry about it. Routine, he needs routine. I’m thankful that by the end of the day he was not sneezing and didn’t even sound congested. We sang together, played on his computer, and made sure the “pirates were not coming today”. We however could not sing “twinkle twinkle no sing today” and he wants to “turn right at the kangaroo tomorrow”. With that our day ended and he wanted a big hug, that required him pulling my hair so he could say “we don’t pull hair today”. The journey means more with a smile. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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