Some days feel harder than others and today is certainly one of those days. Tears have filled my eyes more times than I can even remember. Owen’s really had a good day in general, but I realize how hard all of this has been on him. He actually worked on some of his schoolwork without crying or having a meltdown. But as the day went on all he wanted to do was ride the bus. It was absolutely one of his favorite things to do. The daily excitement of waiting for the bus and the pure joy that went along with it was also taken away from him when school stopped. I’ve actually been surprised it wasn’t a daily question for him. However, today it became very apparent he has been thinking about it. The more emotional he got about it the harder this day got to me. The tears that I’ve had kept Owen wanting to be closer to me. He doesn’t always understand how to process his own emotions let alone mine. My tears caused him to laugh hysterically most of the day and probably caused him to repeat his words even more. I had to work even harder to keep us focused on our work for the day. Or maybe he was the one that kept me focused. He played with his laptop all on his own today. He got it out and I watched him go through all the motions to turn it on, get to the Notepad app, do his work, and then restarting it several times doing the exact same steps. His skills on his tablet always impress me, but what he has learned on the laptop so quickly is amazing. The way he maneuvers the mouse alone is incredible. When your child is smarter than the technology train you are on you often get derailed. On his tablet he knows how to uninstall and reinstall apps, even apps I think I’ve deleted and hidden, so I can only imagine what he will be able to do on the laptop. Music was his other big distraction and he talked himself into playing it. I was in the kitchen and he started playing his drum. He calls the ukulele his guitar. As he was playing his drum he said “two more minutes drum den de guitar”. He went on, “ewe can play old MacDonald sing”. He went between his keyboard, drum, and ukulele, singing as he played. Through my emotions, he would often run to me and say, “big hug”, leaning his head towards me to be kissed, then running off to play some more. We can’t always control our emotions, but we can own them. Sadness filled my lungs and stole my breath, but my heart was filled with the love from my sweet baby O. Remember today is one moment in time and tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.