The giggles, the wild, wild giggles. They get me every time. After bath time is playtime for us. Owen loves playing peekaboo, and the laughter is enough to soothe my soul. He gets so excited when bath time is over, because he knows what will be happening next. He never wants bath time to end, but the routine of our night makes him happy, afterwards. Yesterday, I was sad. Today, I’m trying to focus on the high points; the moments of celebration, and fun, but yesterday was rough around all the edges. Some days feeling overwhelming, and sad. That was yesterday. Owen screamed about everything. And not for all bad things. Sometimes he screamed, because he was excited about a character on his tablet, or something we were doing. But scream he did do. I tried not to cry after my initial cry fest earlier in the day, but I still snuck a few in, as the day wore on. I didn’t let Owen see me; it makes it worse. He has my reactions down to a tee. His screaming has more layers to it than I even understand. He screams through meltdowns, to get my attention, and when he’s happy. The layers go from there. If I react to the ones that he does for my attention, he then screams for every little thing. If I don’t react to the meltdown screams, then it could be hours longer of him being upset about what happened. And the happy screams, he pretty much ignores my reactions; unless I tell him to quiet down, and then they become louder. I’m learning how my reactions, affect his reactions, but sometimes I still can’t control my emotions. Yesterday was one of those days. I have to let it be as it is some days; holding onto my own emotions, until I can release them in the silence of the night. Owen was happy this morning, because he got to go back to school. He woke before four, getting into bed with me, asking about his teacher. I told him, that today was his day, and he slept for another few hours. As happy as he was when he woke up still didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want the lights on. He ran through the house knocking things over, and pulling things off the wall. I quickly told him to sit down, and if he kept doing it he would not be able to go to school. The lights stayed on. Breathe, that has become the technique I hold onto. His smile, his giggles, and his words “I wuv ewe”, get me through my day. Keep pushing forward, yesterday is gone. Hold onto the good moments, and breathe. Smiles to all and donut daze!
RSS Feed