Today has been emotionally tough for me. Every single thing seems to be overwhelming and tiring. With that being said I’ve accomplished a lot and made myself push through all of these moments. Owen likes to scream a lot. And by a lot, I mean a lot, a lot. Happy screams all day, but with a side of anxious screams here and there. I’ve tried to not let my emotions show because he can read me like a book. The two concerns for his day were me going to the bathroom and the vacuum cleaner. When I would go to the bathroom this used to cause him to scream as soon as I would walk towards it. He would pull the door shut, with him on the outside and scream. He did this several times in the morning. By the afternoon he stopped doing it, but my nerves were shot. Then the vacuum was his other greatest concern. He wanted it on, he wanted it off, he wanted to scream about, and he wanted to laugh when I was using it. He absolutely loves to watch videos about vacuums, but actually being around one is a rollercoaster and a half. He would turn on the vacuum while he was playing with his app that repeats the sounds back to him. This caused him to laugh hysterically about the vacuum and made him want to turn it on that much more. The parts of the day I’m trying to focus on is the love. He is learning to show his love and this is an amazing feeling. Many times throughout the day he walked up to me and kissed me. His words, “I wuv ewe” would follow. I feel and see such growth in him. I have been working with him on physical movements. He still watches his body move when he dances or does exercises. We sang “head shoulders mes and toes mes and toes” while working through the motions. He did the movements with me, singing all the way through the song several times, requesting “faster” after each round. Through emotions I told myself to keep pushing forward, to not let them win. By the end of the day, I was calmer, except when I went to the bathroom because I was still expecting Owen to scream. Tomorrow I promised myself I would be stronger and to be kind to my own heart. I’m thankful that Owen had a good day even in my emotional hodgepodge of soup. Be inspired, find your motivation, and know that this is one moment in time. We are in this together. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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